You Think Your Having a Bad Day Try Being Pregnant

Now that I have been pregnant and have children of my own, I can’t even with some of the petty crap that makes them have a bad day. Seriously, you think your having a bad day, try being pregnant then come back and let me know how that day was!

You woke up late and it ruined your whole day.

Well, I have woken up late for 6-months straight. Mostly because the thing growing inside me thinks kicking my ribs and lungs all night long is a fun game. By the time I do fall asleep, it’s time to get up. However, after i have fought for my life all night, I just can’t hear the alarm waking me up.

Your friend won’t talk to you.

Well, my friends, my family, and the friendly lady at the grocery store have shunned me. Why? Because, I can be a rip roaring bitch on the drop of a dime. One minute I am crying and the next minute I am screaming. Nobody wants to be around me and that includes the child’s father.

You feel sad, today.

I feel sad, tired, angry, and happy all at the same time. I’ve felt this way for the last 5 months and I have 4 more to go. Not only can I bite your head off in 5 seconds, but then I can spend the next 4 hours crying about it. My emotions are all over the place and I can’t even tell you what emotion I feel right now!

You didn’t get to eat breakfast.

Well, I threw up my breakfast, my lunch, and my dinner. Apparently the alien inside of me is trying to kill me. In fact, I have been throwing up my breakfast almost daily for 3-months. The doctor says I should be in the last stretch of it though. Let’s just hope I don’t have to go in and get anymore IV fluids because I am so dehydrated I may die.

You didn’t sleep well last night.

I haven’t slept in months. In fact, the moment I lie down, my little bundle of joy likes to start practicing her acrobat skills. Who knew there was so much room between my groin and my rib cage. Although I think she uses my ribs as a trapeze. And, it isn’t looking like sleep will be coming any time soon.

You had to go get a checkup.

Yeah, I get one of those every month. In fact, I feel like I have been violated in more ways than I ever thought possible. Like how many speculumns can there be that go in a vagina? My doctor also likes to check and make sure my cervix is closed and working exactly as it should by shoving a few fingers up there and pushing down on my abdomen. He says that towards the end, I will be coming in once a week.

You got a $500 medical bill.

Do you have any idea how much my medical bills will be? Well, let’s just hope I don’t have to have a C-section. Right now, I am looking at $12,000 and that’s just the beginning. That doesn’t include copays, unexpected procedures, unexpected ultrasounds, or something drastic happening while I am in labor.

Your back hurts.

My back bone is literally being pulled in through my abdomen and curving like an old woman in her 80s. I seriously can’t understand how my backbone hasn’t broke in half not to mention how it is carrying this bowling ball around without giving out. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my stomach hurts, my cervix hurts, and my sciatica nerve feels like its being sliced open with a butter knife.

You gained 10 pounds.

I gained 20 pounds and it’s still going up. There are stretch marks from my knees to my boobs and in places I can’t even see. I blew up like a beach ball and my whole body has to waddle around like a penguin on ice. My face looks like a balloon and my stomach looks like I have a 10 pound bowling ball stuffed in my pants. My pants don’t fit, my shirts barely cover my belly button, and my stomach has become my new coffee table.

You think your having a bad day, try being pregnant. Yes, being pregnant is that bad and sometimes worse.

Share your pregnancy pains in the comments below!