C-Section Awareness Month: My Emergency C-Section Story (Miss Z)

C-Section Awareness Month: My Emergency C-Section Story (Miss Z);

Did you know that April is C-Section Awareness Month? I didn’t. I had never heard of it. Honestly I never really cared that there was an entire month dedicated to a medical procedure. It wasn’t until a friend on Facebook posted something about it that I actually looked into it. So in honor of C- Section Awareness month I thought I would bring you my stories. 

While I may not agree with elective c-sections I understand the need for them.  Both of my children were born via c-section. My first was classified as an emergency C-section, the second was a planned one. This is Miss Z story, look for Mr. D’s to be posted later this week.

With my first born, I never planned to have a c-section.  I did all my research, I had a birth plan, and I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t. I knew that I wanted my boyfriend, Matt (we weren’t married yet) my best friend, Amy, and my mom in the room with me.  My Doctor had briefly gone over the c-section scenario but we weren’t concerned.

My pregnancy with Miss Z was not perfect but beautiful; I loved being pregnant right up to the end. I had few issues throughout and was lucky in that I was at a teaching hospital so I got to be the guinea pig for the 4-d machine every month. Other than a couple ER visits due to what turned out to be Braxton Hicks everything was smooth sailing.

The day I was due came and went. I wasn’t considered over due, but the doctor was concerned that she might be a larger baby and didn’t want to push to far past my due date. So 5 days after my due date I checked into the hospital to be induced. Inducement is not fun at all. I hated it! I would never wish that on anyone. Nor would I wish someone getting their water broken by a doctor, which I also had.

I didn’t think much of them softening my cervix with the Cervidil but that Pitocin is a B!cth. and that bed they put you on is just plain uncomfortable! At least the birthing suite I had was nice. It was a big corner room with everything I could possibly think of including room for the number of people who decided to stop by and wait… and wait… and wait.

24 hours after they started the induction, 12 hours after they started the Pitocin (Oxytocin) and 6 hours after they broke my water I was only dilated to 5. I had been given an epidural which made it impossible to sit up, move or do anything but lay in the bed.  The doctor had been in several times to check, and they had me try to shift positions to either side or up right, which only succeeded in me falling backwards on the bed nearly hitting my head on the bed rails.

I could not move my legs, my one leg kept falling off the edge of the bed and Amy had to sit on the bed to keep it up.  At that point the doctor was concerned but not enough to start racing to the OR. About 15 minutes to a half hour later I was starting to feel some pressure and my body was uncomfortable. I dint realize they had turned the Pitocin way down causing me to feel more. I was starting to actually hurt and someone must have got the nurse who came into check on me.

By this time I was shaking and my lower body was hurting horribly. I felt like someone was shoving my hips out of place. The nurse looked at my readings, said some soothing words and left the room. 5 minutes later she was back with my doctor who also read the readings. She frowned, which she never did before (my doc was always smiles and cheery, sometimes it would really tick me off )

She looked at me and said “I don’t like these readings. We may have to go to the OR.”

I was shocked, this was the first I had heard of the OR all day. I couldn’t go to the OR, my dad wasn’t there yet. It didn’t seem right to have major surgery without him being there. I probably wasn’t thinking rationally but I asked if we could wait for him to get there. She smiled and said “Here’s what we can do. I have to go prep the OR and the team. I will have the nurse bring in the stuff you will need and we will get you prepped. He has 15 to 30 minutes, maybe less. If he’s not here by then, he can see you when you come out.”

Then she said the scariest statement “Your baby’s heartbeat is dropping with every contraction, she is in stress and we need to make sure both mom and baby are safe and healthy. If something changes for the worse, we won’t even wait the 15 minutes.”

15 minutes later I was signing the informed consent paperwork and being prepped to roll through the hallway when my dad walked through the door. He gave me a hug, a kiss and walked with us to the doors that separate patient from family. That was about 800pm. I had been in that hospital room since 530pm the day before.  At that moment I was well aware of the fact that I may never see any of these people who were here for me again.

What the child birth classes, books and the medical professionals do not tell you is the feelings that you will experience.

The fear, the worry, the anxiety, it all combines in to one massive feeling that feels like a 1000 pound weight sitting on your chest and they only thing that might help it release is the sound of your partner and the sound  of your child. I knew going in that I would have to wait to see or hear either one. But the feeling of absolute loneliness in a room full of people is profound.

The most calming person was the one controlling the medicine that could put you to sleep for ever. I actually asked the Anesthesiologist if he had a stress ball… of course they didn’t but they made me one to squeeze. They took a rubber glove, filled it with several other rubber gloves, tied it off and gave it to me. That helped until Matt could come in the room.

What felt like hours, was in reality only 15 minutes.  They talked to me throughout the whole thing telling me what to expect when they started cutting, pulling and bringing my little girl into the world.

At that moment, as irrational as I knew it was, I wasn’t ready.

There I was laid out spread eagle across an operating table with 5-10 people in the room with me, butt nekked with everything hanging out for the room to see and all I could think was STOP! The next thing I knew my partner was sitting next to me holding my hand, kissing me and telling me it was ok. I think I may have cried because I remember him wiping my tears away. At this time I was so scared and yet so relieved that soon it would be done.

The doctor looked over the curtain and said “here we go” I felt some movement, some tugging and finally a release of an immense pressure. The doctor said “you have a beautiful baby girl. Time of birth 21:00 (9 o’clock pm)” At that time I stopped breathing. I waited until I heard that first beautiful cry from my daughter who I had only glimpsed for a second as they moved past me and Matt to the baby table. I cried, smiled, laughed, kissed Matt and before I could ask to see her, the room faded to dark.

Looking back I remember some glimpses of leaving the room, seeing Matt again, and the recovery room, but its flashes and nothing that I can put in to time perspective until I woke up in the recovery room with Matt there.

When I woke up in the recovery room the first thing I thought of was my baby; where was she?

Could I see her? Hold her? I was so upset that I didn’t get to see her in the OR. I finally realized that Matt was there holding my hand. When I finally got my thoughts coherent and could tell him what was wrong, he asked the nurse to bring the baby in to see me. When she handed her to him, he placed her on my chest so that I could see her and even though I was laying flat on my back, I wrapped my arms around her and did not want to let go. I finally felt like a mom. It wasn’t until later that i found out our entire family had seen her and held her before me.

When they finally were ready to move me into what would be my room for the next few days, It was almost midnight, our families had been there for hours and by this time I was crying from the pain. The nurses said they couldn’t give me anything yet because of the medicine they had IV pushed during the surgery.

I didn’t care, I HURT!

I was pissed and sore and crying. Our family said good bye and good night from the other side of the curtain. My Dad heard me crying out and refused to leave at first.It took a good 15 minutes before he would go home with my mom.

 

Then they wanted me to attempt to breast feed my daughter. I was incredulous.

I couldn’t believe the nerve of those people.

Here I was bawling my eyes out in pain, I couldn’t sit up in bed and I couldn’t lay down in bed. I couldn’t even move my lower half of my body. I could barely think past the pain let alone contemplate the idea of getting a baby to latch on to my breast. We had been in the hospital for over 24 hours, got maybe 4 hours of sleep the night before and 1 hour in the recovery room, I wasn’t clear headed and I wasn’t in the mood for their crap.

I remember demanding to see my doctor, and to give the baby a bottle for the baby and let Matt take over from there. After my doctor came back to me and authorized med’s which were given lickety split, I was finally able to calm down and sleep. The nurses took the baby to the nursery for us for the first night.

 

By the second night, she was in the room with us, period.

I was kept for 4 days and by that 4th day I was climbing the walls. All I wanted was my own home. I needed my privacy and to be left alone from the prying eyes and hands of the nurses, lactation consultants, and newbie doctors who had to “learn and practice” with the new mom. It was never just one nurse or one doctor. I had several and each time they came in it was the same questions over and over again. I finally got fed up and told them to leave me alone. Then I refused to deal with any more students. I just wanted to be left alone to heal and bond with my beautiful baby girl.

Thinking back on that experience there are so many things that I would have changed and thankfully my now husband and ObGyn listened to my complaints and wants when it was time to have Mr. D but that is another story 🙂

That’s my story for C-Section Awareness Month. This is Miss Z  6 years later and she still makes me smile every day.

Did you know about C-Section Awareness Month? Do you have a great birth story?